Going back to school

It seems it’s time! Yay! I am so excited at the prospects of returning to school I am just bursting at the seams!

Anyway, it’s come rather suddenly because I started to figure I wouldn’t ever go back, at least not for quite a long time yet and I was starting to wonder what I could possibly do once I did go back. But last week I arranged a piece of music for the choir with a viola part, wrote it out using music notation software and was so excited by the results that all that was culminating to that point suddenly had me looking at school. Seriously. Not for Engineering but for Music.

Before I knew it I was filling out the FAFSA, fully realizing that it’s  late in the game to get into a 4-year college this coming fall. So I filled out an application to Burlington County College and started looking at what classes I could take next year while I applied to Universities in the area.

(All of this, above and below, happened in the course of a week.)

I found myself contacting advisers at BCC. I got in touch with a transfer advisor who said that most music programs don’t really like you to take too much music at another institution because they want you to learn it their way.

*record screech*Oh… okay, well, let’s see about what is in the area that I can apply to and see what they tell me I can take at BCC in the interim. I started looking at Swarthmore, Haverford, Rowan, TCNJ and wondering what other schools nearby have music programs.

Also, in the meantime, I began to pray about it. It came so fast that I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just running full force only to find out it’s not time yet. I asked specifically to receive little assurances as I go along that this is the right thing to do now and that I would recognize them as they came.

And come they did.

I knew that the only way I could go to school was 1. if there was someone to care for my children while I attended classes and 2. if we can get funding of some form because we have no savings to send me with.

My visiting teachers came over the day after I filled out the FAFSA. I mentioned I was looking into going to school for music and asked them to let me know if they hear of anyone who does childcare. Later that day one of them, Alison, sent me an email asking for a trade. She will trade watching my kids for me teaching hers piano. Whoa!  I think that was my first assurance. And it’s a big one too. It means my children will be cared for and it helps greatly with the finances. It also means I need to figure out how to teach piano. That will be my project for the summer. (I hope that her kids want to learn because we’d have to figure something else out if they decided they don’t want it.)

I then worried whether I’d be able to teach music. I’d never even before thought about teaching piano. But the next assurance was a feeling of peace that I would be able to. I also had more clarity of what lies in my future – being a music teacher of some sort, and I like it. :)

The other big worry is finances. I looked over my budget again and found a way to save a little bit here and there where I didn’t think we could before. It would require sacrifices on all our parts. I can give up my gym membership while I’m in school and that will save my monthly dues and gym babysitting fees. We can turn off our satellite subscription and just rely on the very basic local programing. I had already started thinking about turning off the tv anyway, I just didn’t know why yet. There were a couple other things too. It’s small but it’s something anyway.

Another assurance – I looked at my new piano and realized I couldn’t teach piano on the old one we had nor could I improve much further. I was feeling blessed we have it now because once school started I don’t think there would have been any way we could have gotten a new one until I was done. At least we wouldn’t have tried. And I am going to need that piano! I foresee teaching with it to help me through school and then afterwards.

Then I started thinking about the music classes I took at BCC when I was getting my Engineering Associates degree. I felt like they were preparing me for this as well as the piano lessons I’m taking now. Also my music callings in church – primary pianist when I could barely play piano and choir director when I could barely lead music let alone lead a bunch of adults in a coherent and lovely manner. Ack! Those were frightening times but they were so very rewarding times too. I gained such a love for music, a love for teaching the children music, a love for leading choir and a love for playing the piano. It was already there but I found it when I began doing these things.

I still have a lot of worries. Normally, when trying to find an answer to something, I will go to Alan and try to get the answer in the form of a blessing and a lot of the time it really helps point me in the right direction. I didn’t want to do that this time. I wanted to try to find the answers through pondering and prayer and listening. I didn’t want to force anything. I know I need to learn how to do these things better and so I didn’t ask for a blessing. However, after praying one night, I felt to go find my patriarchal blessing. I went to do so, but instead of finding it, I pulled out a stack of papers that contained a different blessing right on the very top. Wouldn’t you know I still got my answer through a blessing! :)

It was one dated September 2002. I was going to school for Engineering then. Gabby was a toddler. It was a beginning of school-year blessing that Alan gave to me. I read it and about fell over from wonder. It spoke to so many of my worries and gave me such peace and calm that it will work out.  I had Alan read it and it also spoke to him – mainly concerning student loans – reassuring him too that it would be okay. We both needed that. This old blessing feels as though it is still very much current and valid. What a great assurance that was!

So, the next question is where to apply? I started praying about that. Asking for the way to be shown me. I don’t know much about music programs in the area. I started looking online, asking on facebook for ideas and asking the transfer advisor for suggestions. Then Alan took the kids to the library last night. He asked me what I wanted and I mentioned any possible reference guides to music programs around here. He asked the reference librarian and she mentioned Rutgers Camden.

Now, let me just say that upon first moving here to New Jersey over 10 years ago, I swore off Rutgers Camden as a candidate for my education. I was, scratch that, -AM- afraid of Camden. I don’t want to be caught there by myself. Rightly so. It’s a scary town! No amounts of “the campus is nice though, it’s in a good part of town” could make me change my mind. Maybe it was a good thing Alan went there for his Masters program and that I got brave enough to venture over there so I can get on the pedestrian walkway to walk over the Ben Franklin Bridge last summer. I remember walking through the campus then and feeling such peace and a big desire to go back to school. I love to be on a college campus! Maybe even then I knew I’d be back, just didn’t know when or how.

Last night, when Alan mentioned what the reference librarian said, I had absolutely no fear of Rutger’s Camden. Fear didn’t even cross my mind. What I did see was the way laid before me that would allow me to get to school very easily and back and forth very quickly! It would save me some travel expenses and it would minimize the amount of time I would have to spend away from my family. Another big assurance! It was like the path to school was highlighted in my mind’s eye!

So, last night I explored the Rutger’s Camden music program and saw that they have a music major with teacher certification. I can really see myself teaching music. One of my inspirations is the Rush School’s music teacher Mrs. Sigmund. I met her when Gabby was just starting at Rush school and it was parent orientation night. I had tiny little Joseph in a pouch on my belly and she stopped me in the hall and sang to him. Oh that was so cool! It was one of several little inklings of desire I felt to teach music. As I watched the different music activities at Gabby’s school I was wishing I could do that too. But I never looked into it. Just said a little prayer asking if I could possibly do that too. I guess the Lord is saying “Yes!”

So, last night, as I was looking at Rutger’s website, I discovered that they were still accepting applications for the fall semester!

What?! O.O!! (Could it have been laid in my lap more perfectly?)

Suffice it to say, not even 24 hours later, my application is done and submitted. Thank heaven for online forms! I really mean that. It’s a blessing! My high school, Purdue and BCC transcripts are all ordered and should be on their way. Thanks to my sister Laura for going over to the high school and giving them their little $2.00 so they can release my transcripts. My FAFSA has been updated to include Rutgers and so now all I have left to do is wait to see what happens. I’ll probably go for a campus tour soon too. If I don’t get in this fall I’ll take a course or two at BCC and apply to Rutgers for the Spring. I honestly don’t have any doubt of getting accepted. It just feels so much like that’s my place to be.

An assurance that Rutger’s is right? I thought about the choir that came to sing at our Stake’s Multicultural Music fireside the last two Novembers. They are the Rutger’s University choir. I remember watching their director with awe and wanting to be taught by her. I also wanted to sing in her choir.

When I was looking at their website, lo and behold what picture saw I that they have posted:

Recognize the place? Look like a Stake Center much?

Yeah, I think I’m in the right place.

Oh! The excitement abounds! I don’t know how I am going to pay for school but we’ll figure it out. I can’t wait!

A music degree. It makes my heart sing! I really am excited about that. Another really good assurance. :)