Lately I have been thinking about life and how quickly it goes. I used to think it was so long and we have so much time but since the recent passing of Alan's mom I have not felt the same anymore. My mother-in-law, even at 62 was still young. Too young. But, she has completed her mission here and moved on to the next. It's hard for me wrap my mind around the fact that we've approached and even reached the time in our lives that even our parents are leaving us. I'm too young for that. But Susan was too.
I look over the years and think, not yet. Already Alan and I have been married 12, approaching 13 years. Already we have an almost 9 year old. The teenage years are fast approaching (at times I think they're already here!). I look back at my childhood and teenage years and having wished them to pass quickly I find myself wishing they hadn't gone so fast. How am I already 34? (I know, some would say I'm still a baby.) I'm clear out of my 20s and fast (it seems) approaching the 40s and I'm wishing things to slow down. Life is too short and goes too fast. I'm feeling that now.
Alan's mom was such a pillar in our life. Now that pillar has been moved and we've got to do more now to hold ourselves up. I feel like it's time to do that. Step into our own.
I feel like we need to live like we have a lot of time. Plan for the future. Make good memories and spend time with our families. Go on vacations. Don't worry about the chores so much or doing things perfectly but enjoy all those decades that we still have ahead of us. Have a home and enjoy it. Plant gardens. Make new friends. Go to school and learn new things. Send kids to college and on missions.
But I also feel like we need to live as if life is short and goes by fast. Because it does. The years pass too quickly. Be obedient to the gospel principles we are taught, read our scriptures. Serve in our callings and attend the temple. Making good memories and spending precious time with our families also fits in this category. Love our family. And especially love our spouse.
The other day, Fast Sunday in fact, I was pondering this. It was the day after Susan's funeral. She'd finally been laid to rest after having lived a full and very rich life. I asked the Lord how I was doing. It occurred to me that I need to ask that question much more often. I also asked what I need to do better. I need to ask that question more often too. Those answers come and if acted upon they will help me live my life to the fullness that I was promised.
Life feels too short and while there is still lots of it ahead of me I don't feel that I have time to mess around. I've got to make sure I live it and live it right.
Posts
Gabby! Gabby! How Does our Garden Grow?
15 years ago
I've also been struck by how fast time has flown. It seems crazy to me that any of my parents siblings could have passed on . . . Although, I realized that Susan was the great aunt of my kids; which does make her sound a lot older, and I didn't know many of my great aunts and uncles when I was growing up, but still, 62 seems so young to me . . . I guess it all just proves that I'm getting older myself.
ReplyDelete